Mens: how would you react if a womens approached you?

I have never been approached by a womens (I’ve been told that I look cold and distant and that I radiate anger). Which is fine by me, being assertive and making the first move is the mens job. Also despite modern times, womens rarely approach mens and most expect to be approached first.

I have a cynical guarded nature. I have a very low opinion of humanity. I would likely be turned off if a womens approached me because I would suspect she is trying to sell me something or play me in some way. I would react by being polite and accommodating but do my best to end the interaction as quickly as possible.

Also a womens approaching a mens is a very masculine which is a turn off because I prefer feminine womens.

It's flattering, man. If you're not interested, you politely decline. If you are, graciously accept. It's silly to turn down shots just because you didn't take them. A score (cough) is a score.

FWIW, I even met my wife when she approached me.

@mattbbpl: Hell, yeah. It's one thing to talk to a woman, but when one approaches YOU and wants to know what's up, not gonna lie, that just does wonders for your ego. Plus, I think it show that a woman knows what she wants, and isn't for that outdated, patriarchal BS. Gotta respect people like that.

For people that can't handle that... I don't know what to tell you.

I’ve been approached by women on a few occasions and I liked it very much. Never seemed masculine to me. Have no issue with women approaching me. 🤷‍♂️

Depends on context. If it's friendly chitchat I'm fine. Most strangers approaching anybody for no good reason these days are nothing but trouble. If I'm in a parking lot going to and from my car I don't wanna hear it. Probably another person like "my car broke down and I need gas if you give me $50 I'll mail it back" **pfft** I wasn't born yesterday.

My wife made the first move that led to us dating. I had just left the USAF and was working a night job as a stocker at a retail store while going to school and she had the same job while she home-schooled a family member. I considered her to be way out of my league, so when she asked if I wanted to go out for a beer after work one night, I found it extremely flattering and it was a huge ego boost.

I've been asked out by a lot of women, or some form of them "making the first move."

Generally I'm flattered. I guess it really depends on how much I find them attractive or interesting myself; so there's generally a range of response.

There's been times I'm like "oh hell yes" because I find the woman attractive and I get all excited and all in.

There's been times when women are very forward, literally dropping their panties on the first date with insatiable lust. I try to resist those ones, but inevitably it just makes them want me more.

Other times I might come off as seemingly oblivious to the signs, and it results in a woman's frustration and she has to ask me to kiss her before the date is over.

And then there's been other times I'm just not interested at all and there's not even room for being that kind of tease - I'm just not interested.

It's never fun when I have to tell a woman I'm not interested, but I understand the importance of honesty and that short-term upset is much better than leading someone on.

I'd be flattered, and given my introverted nature I wish more women would do this.

I don't like playing games, either. If someone is interested I wish they'd just ask me out lol, don't flirt with me because girl I am never going to think you are interested in an ogre like me. You all but need to spell it out 😋

Dated view, and one I wish would change.

Why do men need to make the first move?

Gender roles (socially, at least) are often so silly.

@jaydan: damn bro where do you live with such aggressive women? Planet of the Amazons? I need to move there.

@mrbojangles25: Hahaha.... Snu-Snu...

That's probably the trick and the problem that a lot of men fall under: I don't have an insatiable need to be dating women all the time, which translates to confidence (which women like).

I also have a good level of self-respect. I don't just take a woman because she shows interest. I've done my fair share of rejecting too when I'm not interested and see no potential. I'm not like that guy that posted a thread several months ago asking if he should leave his girlfriend he considered mediocre when he allegedly had other women waiting in line.

I don't care to waste my time or waste another's. It all boils down to confidence and self-respect, and respect for their time as well.

Women pick up on these qualities just as much as they pick up on men being desperate.

It's really about how you carry yourself. Boost your esteem without expecting others to chase after you. Take care of yourself for YOU. Women love dudes like that. It can be a tough balancing act for sure, to take care of yourself with the uncertainty it will lead to a woman being attracted to you, so you really gotta be in it for your own self improvement and being proud of your own accomplishments.

@jaydan: yeah I've dropped a lot of weight in the last year and have definitely noticed a bit more attention from women. Problem is, I'm very out of practice😐

I feel like confidence is something you sort of spend your life developing and I haven't really had much reason to be confident until now. Going to take some practice!

@mrbojangles25: Also one of the pitfalls a lot of men do is they embark on these self-improvement journeys for the sole expectation it must attract women in the end.

NO. Go to the gym because you want to have a good body that makes you proud.

Take a diet because you know it will make you feel healthier and more energetic.

Reach for career advances because it makes you feel professional.

Buy the toys that you personally like and not just the ones your love interest happens to like too, hoping that would impress her.

Do things for you that make you feel happy, confident and strong.

It turns out, engaging in all these healthy lifestyle activities for the right or wrong reasons, is the difference between confidence and desperation.

Channel yourself wisely.

Many times and I'm not a fan. I'm kind of a control freak and makes me feel somewhat vulnerable. Although part of me loves it too.

But my initial reaction tends to be playing oblivious.

OPs obsession with masculine traits is genuinely funny.

lol, ok. Have fun with that.

Approach me?

"Need something?" "Hello"

Ask me out?

"No thanks, I am not interested in romance. Been there done that, not for me"

Congrats man! :D

I started getting daily exercise and started eating a lot healthier just one day shy of 18 months ago. I went from 120 kgs to 66.6kgs yesterday which puts me in the healthy range. Still, maintaining the exercise and diet, because the exercise feels good, and the diet is consistant with my values.

I actually had no weight loss plans at all, but I did account for the inevitable weight loss.

It never happens. Too out of shape. Should go too GNC or something.

Fake it until you make it?

You're almost half the man you used to be :P

Seriously congratulations on the (un)intended hard work you guys put in.

It would be very flattering for sure. I wouldn't be opposed to it.

Thanks, it sure feels good having shedded all those pounds.

Besides losing a lot of weight, I have a lot more energy, sleep less, my chronic coughing is gone, I am no longer plagued by nightmares, I have a clean conscience, and some other benefits too.

And yup, today would mark the 18th month exactly. Since I started living more healthy.

I'm all for it. Honestly, it takes some pressure off knowing ahead of time that she at least finds something interesting or appealing about me. People above said confidence is important, I don't have a lot of that, and have never been good at faking it. Her expressing interest gives me at least a reasonable amount to start from.

Might be part of why my only relationships that went anywhere where the ones where she made the first move.

TC needs an intervention.

Automatically assume they're trying to get my money or doing promotional shit or something. Never been the case though, so I just flirt back.

I've been approached by women plenty of times. Although it used to happen more often when I was younger, but has become quite rare nowadays.

Touched a woman on the bus once.

Technically she just brushed past, but it counts.

Congrats to both of you! Losing almost half your weight is an impressive feat.

While I'm not exactly overweight (my BMI is still within a healthy range, though more on the higher end), I have been out-of-shape ever since the COVID pandemic, so I've been hitting the gym lately to get back in shape.

I don't think I've ever been approached. I allegedly look too serious lol. However, that never stopped me from approaching women.

Thank you.

Also, keep in mind, muscle weighs more than fat, so if you work out, you will naturally be heavier for your height. Which is why the Body Fat percentage is better if you can do that.

Ring Fit Adventure kept me moving during the pandemic. Sweden never officially locked down, but some of us did adhere to the recommendations :) Still play the game 2-3 times a week. I consider it a part of the holy trinity of gaming for me: Best Impact on my Wellbeing.

My BMI went from nearly 40 to to 21.5. My Body fat is at the numbers it should be at as well :)